David Bowie – Let’s Dance


(New York, USA) — David Bowie today announced the formation of a limited company to sell credibility bonds to both new and established musicians.  In exchange for designated cash advances, Mr. Bowie will offer BowieCred, a range of service products to benefit the recipient.

“Obviously, Mr. Bowie is a highly conscientious artist and will not allow his credibility to be co-opted by just anyone,” explained BowieCred CEO Howie Mortgenstern.  “An extremely rigorous vetting process will proceed the sale of any BowieCred shares.”

The product ranges include the Bronze Hunky Dory level in which Mr. Bowie positively mentions your album in interview, the Silver Prettiest Star level where he is seen at one of your gigs, the Gold Pin Ups level where you are allowed to hob nob publicly with Mr. Bowie and finally the Platinum “Heroes” level in which he produces and/or appears as guest artist on your album.

BowieCred actually has a genesis dating back to the 1970s, when Mr. Bowie offered songwriting, production and guest appearence work to Lou Reed and Mott The Hoople.  Perhaps the most famous recipient of BowieCred (then known as Defries Bonds) was Iggy Pop, who availed himself of the deluxe package which included songwriting, production, touring duties as well as partying in Berlin. Recent beneficiaries of BowieCred include New York alternative band Clap Your Hands Say Yeah at whose shows Mr. Bowie was spotted in 2005.

The bonds will have a life-span limited to the currency of the purchasing artist’s given album, but can be renewed, at discount, for future releases. BowieCred will be downgraded or, in extreme cases, surrendered if Mr. Bowie feels his credibility being squandered, as happened on the 1982 Lp Hot Space where Mr. Bowie wiped his vocals from the song “Cool Cat” and made Queen replace them with Billy Squier.

While there is no question that Mr. Bowie’s imprimatur is still a solid investment, the value of his actual music has been lowered from an A3 rating (the seventh highest rating) to Baa3, one notch above junk status. Some date the waning of Bowie’s personal credibility around 1983 co-incident with the release of that year’s Let’s Dance Lp, a decidedly commercial album co-produced by Nile Rogers which self-consciously simplified his musical and lyrical approach with very loud Tony Thompson drums.  Though nowhere near as bad as some may remember, it is still not a patch on Mr. Bowie’s brilliant series of albums in the 1970s.

Published in: on February 4, 2011 at 8:08 pm  Comments (5)  

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. ha ha! a brilliant Viz-style parody… but does Ricky Gervais qualify for Platinum Heroes status or just mere Gold Pin Ups level?

  2. I don’t know, but similar questions exist for bisexuality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Bowie#Sexual_orientation) and fascism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Bowie#1974.E2.80.931976:_Soul.2C_funk_and_the_Thin_White_Duke.

  3. Not sure many remember it as bad. Agree it was short of his 70s magnificence, but compared to what else was around in ’83 it was pretty damn good.

  4. i couldn’t put, not as bad as I remember it or the conceit wouldn’t have worked. I really liked it when it came out but couldn’t stand it a decade later.

  5. I know this album was not up to Bowie’s standards of the 70’s but I have and love this album.

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