LOCAL GEEK PURCHASES FIRST MACCA SOLO Lp FOR THIRD TIME
In a move seen to have little or no consequence, local music geek Norman Eclaire has purchased McCartney, former Beatle Paul McCartney’s first solo album, for a third time, this one at the Hythe Demelza House charity shop for one pound. Ironically, Eclaire first bought the Lp at a thrift store in his native Ohio sometime during the mid to late 1970s. “I used to practice drums along with the record for hours,” Eclaire recalled fondly. “It was pretty scratchy and ‘Kreen-Akrore’ had some white gunk spilled on it or something so it sounded like white noise for the last minute. I’m not sure what ever happened to that copy.”
“Paul played all the instruments on McCartney and recorded it himself at home on a Studer 4-Track, making it a true solo album,” he added, showing the pitiless and absurd attention to trivial pop music detail which has served only to alienate him from humanity, apart from those who share his ultimately meaningless and practically useless obsession.
What makes the recent acquisition even more inane is the fact that the friendless collector currently owns a mint 1992 Japanese, 24k gold-plated DCC compact disc re-issue, remastered by no less than Steve Hoffman.
“There’s just something about size and feel of vinyl, not to mention the warmth of the sound,” Eclaire enthused, as the tiny flicker of light which danced behind his cold, dead eyes slowly extinguished itself. “I like the cosy feeling of the deliberately ramshackle performances and lo-fi production, especially on ‘Every Night’ and ‘Momma Miss America.'”
Others were less impressed with the recent buy. Greg Posnac, another joyless nerd, dismissed it with the faintest of praises: “Big whoop, it’s a VG+ condition British first press McCartney. Show me an initial promo copy of the album with the notorious interview sheet included and I might be impressed. And, let’s be honest, it’s a pretty patchy record, apart from the glorious ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’ and even that would have sounded better as an Abbey Road production.”
Eclaire was also pathetically keen to share an (actually very good) oversized, hard-back first edition with dust jacket of Linda’s Pictures, which he picked up at a village hall tabletop sale while on holiday last summer in Cornwall.