MOODY BLUES MISSING, FEARED UP OWN ASS
(West Hampstead, London, England) — Progressive rock band, the Moody Blues have gone missing without trace leading observers to speculate that the group may have disappeared up its own ass.
“The warning signs were there,” commented producer Tony Clarke. “After an initial foray into relatively faceless Britpop R&B, the Moodies have spent much of the last year or so gazing at their navels; looking for answers, ultimate meaning, ‘first cause’ understanding, you know, that sort of thing.”
“Things had come to a head with the band’s recent expeditions in search of the lost chord,” he explained. “But who knew where it was, let alone where to start.”
Experts point to a number of clues that they fear suggest the solipsistic group may have ventured deep inside its own jacksie in search of this mythical lost chord. “Songs interpolating half-baked poetry, liner notes featuring a dilettante’s instructions on Mantra and ‘Yantra’ along with a general seriousness of purpose all point to a quintet with its collective head completely up its backside,” offered music writer Clifford Snotes.
“And now it appears they may trapped up there,” Snotes added.
“Actually,” he went on, like a spigot in desperate need of a new washer, “there is a surprising amount of charm in this mellotron-driven psychedelic period piece. The single ‘Ride the See-Saw’ bounces along nicely and, against all odds, the cosmically conscious ‘Om’ has hints of real sunshine pop majesty.”
“It’s just that they generally aren’t as vocally interesting as the Hollies or the Zombies or a musically interesting as the Pretty Things.”
Snotes made several further arguments about the Moodies’ “whimsy”, “pretentiousness” and “ominous glissandi string parts suggesting a dabbler’s understanding of Indian Classical music” that were not very well put, but still proffer the band’s brown eye as its current locus.