AREA LADY UNRESPONSIVE TO REPEATED ENTREATIES BY LOCAL MAN Blames Hearing Loss
(Columbus, Ohio) — In what local officials are calling “remarkably cold”, an area lady has remained unmoved by serial pleas from a local man for her to “hear him tonight”.
“We know that the local man has asked the area lady to hear him tonight at least six times,” said Columbus City Council spokesperson Wilson Hayes. “The Council finds her lack of response remarkably cold given the couple were dancing in the moonlight at the time.”
It is possible, said one eyewitness, that the music to which the pair danced was simply too loud to engage in a dialogue. The local man refuted this saying he “felt love for the first time” and “delight” that he knew was “true [because of] the look in [area lady’s] eyes” which does not require aural communication.
“I just feel like I won’t get [area lady] out of my mind,” he added.
When reached by Thrifty Vinyl reporters for comment, the area lady signed that she was unable to hear the local man tonight as she has been profoundly deaf since birth.