FEDS NOW REQUIRING PRINCE TO CURTAIL DUMPING WASTE PRODUCTS IN MARKETPLACE
(Minneapolis, Minn) — Following repeated massive discharges of substandard product in to the US marketplace, lawmakers in Washington have reached agreement with Warner Brothers Records requiring Prince to regulate his waste dumping, allowing only the release of goods which have passed high federal standards. The national directive means that substandard products such as Emancipation and the Vanity 6 project will be disposed of in an environmentally safe way before they can be ingested by unwary consumers; while healthy releases, such as “Sign “☮” the Times” and “I Feel For You” will be able to proceed unimpeded.
EPA spokesman Jamie Tan hailed the new law, saying, “While Prince is responsible for worthwhile output as well, there’s been far too much transfrontier shipment of low industrial grade and/or potentially toxic material. This legislation will ensure that none of Prince’s hazardous or contaminated waste will reach the American public.”