(Loma Linda, CA) – It was pointed out today to 50,000,000 Elvis fans that, contrary to received smart-assed wisdom, the tomato is actually a vegetable, and not a fruit after all.
Talking exclusively to Thrifty Vinyl, Professor Jason Frith said, “Fifty million Elvis fans, like most wise-acres, will tell you that the tomato is a fruit since a ‘fruit’ is a plant with fleshy material covering a seed or seeds. And yet, from a horticultural perspective, the tomato is a vegetable because, unlike all other so-called fruit (with the sole exception of the strawberry), it does not grow on annual, woody plants.”
“In addition,” the Harvard-educated scientist told us, “an 1893 United States Supreme Court ruling declared the tomato a vegetable and therefore subject to import taxes.”
But speaking on behalf of 50,000,000 Elvis fans, the Graceland Foundation’s James Newell called the Supreme Court decision “arbitrary and illogical”, arguing that the 19th century justices were “kow-towing to special interests who wanted the tomato classified a vegetable simply to protect U.S. crop development and prices.”
“And just because people put tomatoes on their salad, doesn’t make it a vegetable,” claimed Newell. “Botanically speaking, it’s still a fruit.”
50,000,000 Elvis fans have also recently been proved wrong about Elvis’s invention of Rock & Roll, with dozens of artists, Ike Turner, Little Richard, “Big” Arthur Crudup and Chuck Berry to name but a few, performing music that any reasonable person would call “rock and roll” prior to the recording of Presley’s first single, “That’s Alright, Mama” in 1954.