(Gahana, Ohio) — Local carpet fitter Carl Claybourne announced yesterday that Cheap Trick should “definitely appear as themselves” on the long-running Fox animated series, The Simpsons. While Cheap Trick have been alluded to several times on the show, by actually appearing on The Simpsons, they would be joining such music business luminaries as Lady Gaga, Tony Bennet, Sir Paul McCartney, Aerosmith, Mick Jagger, Elvis Costello, Michael Jackson and Sting, among many others. Claybourne believes that could be just the shot in the arm the Illinois quartet’s career needs.
“They should be in Springfield for a gig at the Isotope’s stadium,” explained Claybourne, “when they somehow lose their drum tech or perhaps he quits after an argument over something humorously trivial. While pondering their dilemma over a Squishee, they meet Homer at the Kwik-E-Mart. When he tells them he used to be a musician (At this point we can maybe get a flashback to his time with the B-Sharps and also the ‘That 90s Show’ episode when he was a grunge guitarist), they hire him in desparation.”
“After that,” Claybourne continued, “the episode writes itself with Homer managing to mess up Bun E. Carlos’ drums, getting Tom Petersson to quit again, taking Rick Nielson’s hat off revealing his heretofore unknown baldness (and whose pate should resemble exactly Homer’s) and joining the band onstage as auxiliary keyboardist where he plays Argent’s ‘Hold Your Head Up’.”
“Oh, and Marge has an affair with pretty-boy Robin Zander,” he added.
At press time, no-one from the Fox network or the Simpsons production team had contacted Claybourne to develop his treatment.
This is not the first time Claybourne has made headlines. Last year, he suggested Michael Bublé should appear on The Big Bang Theory as himself and go on a date with Penny, who rejects him because he only wants to date her for her “small town Nebraska ways” and not for herself.