LOCAL DRUMMER FORCES PARTY HOST TO PLAY CRAP DEMO Attendees At OSU Campus Get-Together Humour Mediocre Percussionist, Offer Vague Critiques
(Columbus, Ohio) — Guests of Stephen Mears’ 26th Birthday party on 245 Chittenden Avenue were obliged to listen to Columbus band Jareez Kidz’ demonstration CD by the group’s drummer, Peter “Dragon” Tashoni, last night.
“This first one’s about race relations,” announced Tashoni to the assembled crowd prior to cueing up “Brothers Under the Skin”, a patronizing and listless funk workout that began the three track demo.
“Oo, listen to this bit,” Tashoni ordered as several attendees edged away. “This [breakdown] is so wicked.”
Many reported that Tashoni then played “air drums” along with his recorded performance of the band’s cover of The Wonder Stuff’s “Red Berry Joy Town”.
Clifford Snoats, the handsome and well-regarded local music critic, was not at the party but received the Jareez Kidz demo two weeks ago. He gave the disc a cursory listen and dismissed it as “typical bland, uptight college student funk”, pouring particular scorn on the drummer who he said “sounds like he’s playing with frickin’ knitting needles”.
“Put it this way,” Snoats added, “If this is funk, James Brown must be having epileptic fits in his grave.
Those who offered comment to Tashoni at the party said that the middling jam band’s CD was “uh, pretty cool” and “sound[ed] professional”. The only criticism came from Lane Avenue Camera Corner employee Eric Carter who, adopting recording studio lingua, ventured that “the vocals sound a bit buried in the mix”.
Tashoni later told reporters that, “Eric obviously doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.”
“Pete was, like, begging to play his shit-ass demo all night,” reported a disgruntled Mears. “Thank fuck it was only three songs or everyone would’ve left.”
“It totally killed the buzz,” agreed housemate and party co-host Oscar Rentz. “Fortunately, Steve quickly put on one of the party playlists we’d created back on, which got things pretty much back on track before we started hemorrhaging too many guests.”
Tashoni plans to make a copy of the disc, which was recorded at Gravity’s Angel Studios last June, for his uncle Tony, who used to play in a band once.
Editor’s Note: Not my usual style, the Wonder Stuff début offers a tough, funny take on snotty 60s Psychedelic Garage Rock, and north England folk-pop in the manner of Shack, the La’s, et al. This mint copy was bought for me a couple weeks ago a local boot fair by a client who already owns four (!) copies and cites it as his favourite record. In’t that nice?
Incidentally, does anyone else think that Hazel Pitt’s sleeve design strongly presages Intro Design’s work of the following decade?