(Chicago, Illinois) — Dante Carfagna, aka Express Rising, today expressed bewilderment when he learned of a man who did not just purchase Express Rising music, but actually listened to it.
“You’re only supposed to say you listen to it,” Carfagna told reporters after the incident. “[Express Rising music] is really meant more as a sort of, I suppose, ‘pretension barometer’.”
Carfagna was made aware of the phenomenon when a male in his mid-30s calling himself “a fan” approached the Windy City eccentric outside a 7-11 in Chicago’s Dog Patch neighbourhood. “He was asking some very detailed questions about the creation of the beat for a song buried somewhere deep in the last third of the first record [Express Rising’s long-out-of-print 2003 Memphix Records debut].” Carfagna recalled. “Well, obviously, I don’t know, so I pawned him off with some bullshit about speeding up a Salsoul Orchestra sample so fast that all that was left was a pulse beat.”
“Anyway,” Carfagna continued, the pitch of his voice now rising, “My point is that he could have only asked that question if he’d listened to most of the album. I’m simply flabbergasted that someone, anyone, has the willpower to sit through [my music].”
“What’s more, this man leads me to believe there may be others who do the same thing!”
The DJ, who has just released a likewise eponymous follow-up Lp through the Numero Group, began to shake his slowly from side to side. “Well, at least we can be sure they don’t enjoy the experience,” he said at last, by way of rationalization.