Rolf Harris – Stylophone by Dübreq (DBQ 72 1)

Stylophone by Dübreq

“If you can write, you can master the Stylophone in 15 minutes,” intones Rolf Harris warmly as if it’s a good thing.

I wish I had the capacity to upload last Saturday’s 30p pseudo-scientific 7″ vinyl ad for the pocket keyboard; failing that, I wish I was a dance producer so I could sample Rolf barely containing himself as he hypes “one of the most remarkable applications in modern electronics”, occasionally laughing in disbelief at this glissando-ridden wonder instrument. But I can’t and I’m not, so I’ll just take the piss.

The a-side culminates in a version of “Silent Night” perpetrated by a Stylophone Quartet: “Imagine your family or friends gathered round Christmas Eve playing this,” he muses, full of awe.

The horror. The horror.

Published in: on November 27, 2012 at 12:35 pm  Comments (10)  

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10 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Bowie also promoted this instrument and used it again on Heathen.

    I live in the river suburb of Bassendean in Perth where old Rolph grew up. They have a Rolph Harris burger at the local take away store….

  2. Rolph? Is that the Oz spelling?

  3. It’s my drunken spelling!

    • Yeah, like I said.

  4. don’t forget that kraftwerk used one in the early 80’s (long after their heyday) on “pocket calculator” – i saw them live at that time when they were promoting the “computer world” album, and one of them actually played the stylophone on stage…

    i remember playing about with a stylophone as a kid – i think it may have been a friend’s rather than mine, but whatever, as was usual with stuff from those days it soon made its way on to landfill, thus making the few that survived collector’s items… talking of which, just out of interest i looked on ebay to see what they’re going for, and discovered that they are now being manufactured again and available for around a tenner or so! hopefully ford will take notice and start producing the classic early 80’s mark iii escort again (or better still the capri)!

    btw, in the wake of s*vilegate just thought i’d mention a story i was told by some guy i met a few years back who said he used to work for the bbc – he claimed that either he or a colleague (i can’t remember now) once entered rolf’s dressing room to discover everybody’s favourite ozzie family entertainer (allegedly) in the act of showing a young boy his didgeridoo…(!)

    • I’d be careful there W, you know what happened to the people who cast similar aspersions against Lord McAlpine!

  5. ps – i’ve also now discovered the stylophone beatbox, made in the style of the stylophone but a crude drum machine/rhythm box:

  6. … that’s why i put the word “allegedly” in my post! whether it was just salacious and vindictive muck-spreading without any evidence (or not) i have no idea, but i either heard it from the guy himself, or via a very good friend who was with me at the time we met him, who i have no reason to believe would make it up… however, if there is any truth in it, one suspects that rolf is now shaking more than his wobbleboard!

  7. oh yes, if rolf sues me in a lord mcalpine-manner for defamation of character (not that i’m making any accusations, i’m just mentioning in passing what i once heard), he can go ahead because i’m skint anyway!

    • lol

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